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[[Written for the Choosatron|http://choosatron.com]]You are a starwhal! The most majestic, beautiful, and vain creature living in interstellar space! Your gorgeous...
"The place could you a bit of color" you think callously. Your tale swings back and forth with purpose, and your hunt begins.
[[Head toward the galaxy spiral.|4C]]
[[Swim near the asteroid shower.|4D]]
You shoot through the asteroid dust like a bullet, and the starwhal is stabbed right through before it even knows what hit it. The face turns to you as the tail begins to disintegrate into stardust, and you realize it was your mother!
[[Hold her while she dies.|6G]]
[[Swim and never look back.|6H]]
You slowly move under them, coming up behind the purple one so the orange one is oblivious. Suddenly to pierce its heart through the back and it disintegrates into stardust, and you startle the orange one so much it freezes, staring at you.
[[Move in close, "I can feel your heart beating..."|6E]]
Your therapist is going to have a field-day with dangerous thoughts like these. Then again, what the fuck does he know?? His tooth isn't even consistently spiraled!
[[Kill them all.|4A]]
[[Temper your thoughts, live for peace.|4B]]
You go in for a better look and discover that it's actually your mom!
[["Hey mom, what are you doing out here?"|6I]]
[["Sparklepuss! Com'on and hunt with me!"|6J]]
You quickly revert from your enrages state to turn about and see who it is. Oh! It's your older brother Sparkle-Bottom! He looks sad.
[[Rub your tooth against his.|6B]]
"Hey...shine on.", you say casually. They stop sparring and look at you, then the orange one says, "We are so sorry for you."
[["You mock me?!? DIE!!!"|6C]]
[["Uh, yeah...me too?"|6D]]
You turn quickly and slip your tooth below the Starwhal's chin, pushing it into its heart with a flick. The form disintegrates into stardust. A little while late while hunting for more, you come across all your siblings together. "Weird", you think. "Can't take them all together..." One of them explains that your mom is dead, and you realize that was what your brother was trying to tell you. It doesn't take long until they find out the truth, and you soon join your brother (but not in a happy way). *DOUCHE*Wow you are fucked up! Anyway, you star deep into the orange starwhals black eyes, watching them moisten with fear as you slowly, millimeter by millimeter push your tooth through it's flesh, finally greeting it's heart. A whimper, and orange is gone. The surge you feel takes you to a new height of madness! You don't even question how you could stare into its eyes while stabbing it! You decide you so love the utter terror from other starwhals that you don't go on your rampage, but live mostly normally, with just the occasional starwhal torture/murder to keep them all in line.
*SOME FAVA BEANS WITH THAT?*Evidently you still have a heart since you decide to cut out its heart quickly. Moments later it is over. You are cruel, but not sadistic. Word spreads quickly and soon you become the most feared StarWhal in all of the great Sparkle Twist...
[[Can I wear an eyepatch?|8C]]
[[I am so fucking awesome.|8D]]
You cry so hard that a new star is born in memory of your mother. The light from that star warms a planet, which happens to have the appropriate chemical composition to create life, and does so in abundance. The billions of years that follow result in a species that spreads peace and happiness throughout the galaxies for even more billions of years. If you were alive to see the results of those tears, you'd totally barf star-chunks.
*PEACE AND LOVE? MORE LIKE PIECES OF YOUR HEART!*Enraged, you immediately stab purple in the eye, just for fun, then the heart to finish the job. Orange watches completely startled, and is able to parry your first few swings, but your hate has made you powerful, and the fights ends quickly. You breath in their star dust and continue your hunt, though you do so sad and alone.
*MAKING CUTTING WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER*A-ha! You slip your tooth down to below his 'chin', and slide it easily into his heart. He screams as his corporeal self disintegrates into stardust. A little while late while hunting for more, you come across all your siblings together. "Weird", you think. "Can't take them all together..." One of them explains that your mom is dead, and you realize that was what your brother was trying to tell you. It doesn't take long until they find out the truth, and you soon join your brother (but not in a happy way). *YOU ARE STAR-POOP*We traced the trajectory back to a planet at the edge of the great Sparkle Twist. What do you think we should do?
[["It was probably just an accident."|8B]]
[["Let's go throw shit at their moms."|8A]]
"You do?!?" he sparkles. "Yeah! When I had braces on my horn I started picking up strange transmissions from a planet called 'Earth'. I used to watch Full House when I was a pup.
[["We should teach Earth not to litter."|8A]]
[["I don't think they did it on purpose."|8B]]
*KNEEL BEFORE ZOD*Oh, and due to a birth defect, your heart chooses this moment to explode. Due to stress or something. I meant you WOULD have been the most feared if not for this freak accident.
*WE WRITE YOUR NARRATIVE, DO NOT FUCK WITH US*Starwhal: Just the Tip...hide shimmers as oscillating plasma waves wash against you. Your long tooth with its perfect spiral and razor-like tip! There is only one thing that could make your stellar life any better...STABBING THE OTHER FUCKING STARWHALS IN THE GODDAMNED HEARTS SO THE UNIVERSE CAN LOOK ONLY TO YOU FOR PERFECTION!
[[*cough* Where did that come from?|3A]]
[[Let their blood splatter against the universal canvas!|3B]]
You float towards the the dusty field of rock, spotting a lone Starwhal, you think light blue, but there is a lot of dust.
[[Swoop in for an easy kill.|5E]]
[[Slowly slip in for a better look.|5F]]
"No, no, no!", you think, "The universe isn't all about me, no matter how beautiful I am!" You turn away from bloody thoughts, and although it is admirable that you have faced your own ego, the other starwhals aren't as emotionally mature as you. Just after feeling peace about your bit of 'growing up', you feel the hot burn of another starwhal's tooth parting your flesh, and piercing the shit out of your heart. YOU HAVE DIED.The colors near the spiral are spectacular! You aren't alone in thinking so, and come across a purple and orange starwhal fighting, or perhaps just sparring...you aren't quite sure.
[[Take them by surprise.|5D]]
[[Play it cool.|5C]]
You allow dust-lust to fill your tiny, perfect mind. Your tooth seems to sparkle with anticipation, and you begin to wave your great tail to go hunting. Just then, as your adrenaline peaks, a tooth taps you on the rubbery shoulder.
His sparkling, watery eyes avoid contact, "It's mom...she...she was picking star-berries and, *fu-fu-fu*, she got hit by something." You blurt out, "Sparklepuss!". Your brother exerts himself, as if he was going to star-poop, symbols appearing on his back in gold, against his deep blue. The symbols are shaped as such: "Voyager 1 Probe"
[["I recognize those symbols!"|7A]]
[["Do you know where it came from?"|7B]]
Your teeth rubbing together makes no actual sound in space, but you feel a hum in your heart (oh yeah, you are all telepathic). Your brother smiles, "Thanks sis...I...have some bad news."
[[Stab him in the heart now that his guard is down.|7C]]
They both immediately poise to fight and charge you. You remember thinking "shit" before your heart feels a twinge, and your body falls away into dust.
*NOT SO BADASS NOW ARE YOU*"Yeah", the purple one throws in, "You mom getting smashed by that weird thing with the funny symbols on it". He squints tightly and symbols resembling this appear on his back: "Voyager 1 Probe".
[["You are SUCH liars!"|7D]]
Shit, talk about creepy. You freak the fuck out of the orange starwhal and it starts sputtering about 'letting it live' and other such nonsense. It's obvious you are too sociopathic to allow that, so there's really only one real question...
[[End it fast?|7F]]
The orange starwhal narrows its eyes and prepares for battle. You are doing well at first, but orange is pissed at what you did to purple, and its fury starts to gain ground on you. As soon as you feel the tiniest drop of feel, you know it's just a matter of time, and so it goes. Orange gashes your side, and while you twist in pain it stabs you through, your beating heart on the tip of its tooth. Everything fades to black.
*WHAT, NO TUNNEL?*Her eyes well up with tears but never get a chance to cry before she is nothing but part of the dust cloud. You almost shed a tear yourself, but suddenly you are struck by a large metal object moving at incredible speed, obliterating you in a moment.
*WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?*"IT WAS OUR MOM.", he yells as he storm-wiggles off. He tells your siblings how much of a coward you are, and as a prank they push you into a space sinkhole.
*YOU ARE A SINGULARITY*...with an eyepatch. Ok?
[[Yeah, I feel super awesome now.|9A]]
"That would be lovely dear!", she smiles and swims over to you. Moments later a huge metal object whiffs right by where your mother was. Huh. Anyway, you both swirl away and find the rest of your family to go on a big hunt with. Thousands of starwhals are killed by your families teeth, and you become the strongest starwhal clan in the galaxy!
*FAMILY MATTERS*"Yeah! I'll get everyone.", he swims off with a spring in his swish. Soon an armada of Starwhals are headed straight for Earth. You lead the charge since you know all the best star-holes, and once you arrive it doesn't take long until your tooth (along with everyone else's) looks like a human heart kabob!
*YOU ARE DESTROYER OF WORLDS*Yes. Yes you are. Happy?
[[No.|9B]]You swim away as fast as you can. Moments later you sense a large disturbance in the dust cloud, but you pay it no attention and just keep swimming. You never see another starwhal again, and live in solitude with the knowledge that you killed your own mother. Your tears litter the universe.
*MAYBE YOU'LL GET A LIFETIME MOVIE DEAL*"Oh! Hello my little spark-spark! I was just taking a look at-", and suddenly a large metal object smashes into her, leaving nothing but a cloud of sparkly dust that soon looks no different than the rest of the asteroid powder. You follow the object and report to the other starwhals your discovery of the dangerous object with the following symbols on it: "Voyager Probe 1". You vow to find where it came from and make them pay...
*SERVE IT COLD, REAL COLD*[[Jerry Belich|https://jerrytron.com]] ([[@j3rrytron|https://twitter.com/j3rrytron]])
based on the game by Breakfall